Simple Ways to Master Effective Communication

Posted in Perspective · Self Improvement |  Email This Post | by James Rick

In the following post, Dawn of the Salt Lake Tribune asks James Rick about how to master effective communication.

1. Explain how people can master effective communication?

A:#1: Paying Attention to the Non-Verbal First Impressions.

Body language and overall physical appearance speaks volumes before you ever say a word.. Effective communicators must first think about and plan the kind of messages they want to communicate non-verbally. This often means being relaxed, and confident in body posture and facial expressions, well groomed and well attired for the situation. Because people often have a hard time controlling their non-verbal communications (nervous twitches, tension, social anxiety, etc) I discuss in my book Unleash Your Full Potential – strategies for taking control of these things as well. Hint: Awareness plays the biggest role in non-verbal communication.

#2 Paying Attention to How You Communicate

When you actually start speaking, notice the WAY in which you say it. Studies indicate that in addition to body language, tone plays a major factor in how a message is interpreted. The words “I’m going to kill you” mean something very different when they are said in a playful tone versus an angry one.

Body gestures can emphasize and add weight to a message or distract from a message if they are not congruent. Congruency is critical for believability in what you are saying. If for example you stand up say “We are going to win this thing” but your body posture or gestures indicate a lack of belief in yourself, you will have a hard time convincing anyone else of your chances of victory. But if you sincerely believe in what you are saying and say it with solid congruency – alignment of body, tone and words – you create a very strong “frame” of believability that makes it easier to convince others. Some of the greatest orators, military generals and leaders have learned this one simple fact – if you come from a frame of strong belief and conviction in what you are saying and are congruent while you say it – you can move millions into action.. even if what you are saying is wrong!

#3 Saying What You Want to Say in the Simplest Way Possible

Effective communicators are clear and concise about what they are communicating. A complex idea broken down into its simplest, most easy to understand form ensures that the greatest number of people that hear it will understand it. Complex ideas do not require complex communication. Stories and metaphors are something everyone can relate to and are therefore one of the simplest ways to get an idea across. When Einstein communicates his theory of time, he uses the example of spending 3 minutes with a pretty girl can seem like 30 minutes, while 3 minutes with your hand on the stove can seem like 30 minutes. What may sometimes seem like “fluff” is actually useful in softening up hard facts so they can be digested by greatest number of minds.

2. What do you mean by how people communicate matters more than what
they actually say?

A: I believe this question is answered above. Non verbal communication says so much more than words, though we don’t want  to dismiss the importance of words. Emerson once said, “What you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear a word that you say.”

3. How can speakers use facial expressions, eye contact, posture and
tone to underscore the message?

A: The face is one of the most extraordinary communication tools for a human.

People look to the eyes and face to not only understand the words, but try to see beyond what is being said (the non-verbal stuff). Speakers can use this knowledge to “practice” using their eyes and face like you would an instrument. I suggest when you find yourself home alone to practice using your face and speaking in front of the mirror. Talk to yourself – literally as if you would another person and notice how you speak, gestures you use and facial expressions. Also video tape yourself speaking to others and notice all the non-verbal stuff you do. It’s hard to analyze yourself while you’re speaking but its easy to analyze yourself after you’ve already spoken. It’s important to note you are analyzing not to judge yourself negatively – but to improve the way you communicate. So look at this exercise with curiosity rather than self-judgment. Study yourself with curiosity (which is the perfect trigger for awareness) and have faith that through small conscious adjustments on a daily basis you’ll eventually find yourself one day communicating in ways where people can’t help but listen and be moved by what you have to say.

4. Explain how speakers can disable their defense mechanism.

A: A speakers defense mechanism (or an audiences) is triggered in response to a perceived vulnerability. People don’t say to themselves “I’m feeling vulnerable so now I’m going to bring out my shield.” The Ego just does it automatically as a way to protect itself and most people would describe it as feeling “uncomfortable”. A speaker is greatly hindered by their own defense mechanisms because it hurts their ability to be congruent and therefore credible. Defense mechanisms fire off and produce tension in the face, break eye contact,  stand or gesture in ways that are not effective for supporting what’s being said.

The best way to “disable” a defense mechanism is to become more self aware. And take your “self” out of the equation when you are speaking. For example I invest some time daily in contemplating and answering the question “who am I really?” and in the process I realized that my identity built upon the interpretations of my life experience and my reactions to the feedback of others. That’s a really deep way of saying – my identity is no more “real” than my opinion of a movie. And once you truly grasp that concept you stop taking yourself so serious or what others have to say about you so serious. When you no longer feel like your “life” is at risk when your identity feels like its being challenged – you can accept feedback and criticism without getting knocked off center. You can relax and stop worrying about how good you look or how well you are being received and just focus on what you are really trying to get across to others. And perhaps most importantly – when you are being or doing something that is greater than your self, you don’t care as much about being vulnerable as you communicate – because its not about you! It’s about the message.  For example – people that are really passionate about a subject are usually more free flowing in their message and get wrapped up in what they are saying to a point they lose themselves for a while in the “flow” and will reflect on it later and say I can’t believe I did or said that.. I can’t believe it was me! That’s when the self has returned to analyze itself.  In short, if the self analyzes itself WHILE it’s communicating – defense mechanisms will fire. To disable them – the self needs to forget itself (and not judge others negatively) while its communicating – which takes practice.

With positive energy,
James Rick
james@fullpotential.com
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The Three B’s of Physical Zest

Posted in Self Improvement |  Email This Post | by James Rick

THE THREE B’S of PHYSICAL ZEST

Would you like to have greater physical energy in your life? I’ve created a simple formula for you called the  “Three B’s” formula for Greater Physical Zest. This is a proven formula I use every day to have incredible levels of personal energy.

BALANCE

Balance represents the body’s constant attempt at equilibrium. The more you can aid that equilibrium in key areas, the healthier and more vital you will be. There are two very important areas to achieve equilibrium.

#1 pH Balance: Alkaline – Acidic
pH Balance represents the alkalinity or acidity in the blood stream. The SAD (Standard American Diet) of fast foods, processed foods, red meats, etc. produces an acidic blood stream. This is not healthy for blood cells and will affect energy and mood. The body needs foods like green leafy vegetables and plenty of water to become more balanced and alkaline. The body also needs plenty of sleep. This simple shift alone (to a more alkaline diet) could produce huge changes in overall health and energy. A simple practice of at least one or two salads a day and a glass of water every hour or two will make a huge difference in your life.

#2 Blood Sugar Balance: Insulin – Glucagon
The Blood Sugar balance is incredibly important for health and longevity. We all know what it’s like to devour a huge desert, have an energy spike or “sugar high” before crashing half an hour to an hour later. What we are feeling when this happens it the imbalance in blood sugar. At first simple sugars flood our blood stream and make us feel “high” but the sugar overload imbalances the system and to counteract the imbalance the body releases insulin. A little sugar is okay if you are exercising because your body will immediately burn up the simple fuel – like a fire consuming highly flammable kindling wood. But the combination of too much sugar in the system and not enough physical activity to burn it up in time causes the body to send out Mr. Insulin to go out and gather the kindling wood and bind it all together into thick “wood piles” known as fat. These “wood piles” will be stored as fuel for another day. But if you never let the body truly balance it’s blood sugar, or burn off the existing wood piles through physical activity – it will continue to stock pile them into a condition known as being overweight or Obese. So the key points here are – only eat deserts if you plan on doing some kind of physical activity afterward, or give your body plenty of time (days) to balance out its blood sugar levels before you indulge in another snack.

Key lessons for balance:
1) Eat multiple green leafy salads a day
2) Have a glass of water every 1 to 2 hours
3) Get plenty of sleep
4) Have a sweet day only once or twice a week.
5) Do physical exercise right after eating sweets or lots of carbs.

BURNING & BUILDING

The body needs food for one of two reasons – the production of energy or the building and repair of the body. That’s it.. that’s all it uses food for. Now you may eat it because it tastes good, but all your body cares about is how the food can be used for burning (energy) or building (healing / repairing / making the body stronger).

BURN

When it comes to the production of energy there are two primary forms of fuel Carbs and Fats.

A) Carbs fit into one of two categories – simple or complex. Simple carbs just mean they have a shorter chain of molecules and so they are burned in the fires of metabolism faster than complex carbs. Just imagine a short stick versus a long stick. The shorter the stick, the faster it gets burned up in the fire to produce energy. Sugar rich snacks and candy are examples of simple carb foods. Potatoes and whole breads are examples of more complex carb food.
B) Fats – which are more like the wood piles or even big tree logs that take even longer to break down and be used as fuel. Fat contrary to popular belief, is not the enemy. The body sees fat as a great long term fuel source that can be stored for a much longer time than carbs. That’s why if the body is flooded with carbs, rather than dispose of them – it holds onto them in the form of fat. The body has evolved for millions of years in times of feast and famine. It doesn’t want to dump a potential fuel source because based on the history of human evolution over millions of years – it never knows when you will be able to eat again. Fat storage is an ancient survival strategy of the body that has worked for its survival over many generations.

Now the all important question – how do you burn up fat?
The process is incredibly simple, you must:
1) Eat less (especially simple sugars / short sticks)
2) Exercise more (especially if you’ve just eaten simple sugars / short sticks)

BUILD

When it comes to the building, repairing and strengthening of the body the primary building block is protein. In fact you can determine the priority of carbs, fats and proteins by how the body uses them when in starvation mode. Most of the Carbs in the blood stream are used up within a day or two. Then the body shifts to breaking down and consuming the fat storage. The metabolism will slow down and consume fat for weeks, doing its best to preserve as much protein as possible. Although over the course of around 30 days some protein is broken down to feed the brain. After about 30 days when the body has run out of fat reserves it will begin consuming the protein and at this point it begins to cannibalize itself. Major organs go last and that’s when the body shuts down -the body literally eating itself to death.

If proteins are the last to go, it stands to reason that they are also the most important part of any diet. Proteins are found in variety of animal and dairy products like meat, eggs, fish, cheese etc. The body requires what are known as the nine essential amino acids (types of proteins) in order to function at optimum health. If it’s only getting some of the essential Amino acids, health problems may arise. You can get all of your essential amino acids from fish, chicken and eggs without the side effects of cholesterol found in red meat. Of course the environment that the meat or dairy you consume was raised is an important factor to consider. It’s also possible to get essential amino acids from an all vegetarian diet alone (through a variety of beans, nuts, etc) however it can be a more difficult thing to do, requiring careful diet planning.

How much protein is enough? Expert estimates vary – anywhere from .25 grams to 1 gram per lb that you weigh. So a 150 lb adult should consume anywhere from 32.5 grams on the low side to 150 grams on the high side. There is no definite number – you should observe your body and notice how you feel. When you are getting enough protein your muscles will be well fed and you should feel strong. Of course if you’re body building you know the importance of adding a good deal of protein to your diet before and after a work out. Some body builders consume 2 – 4 grams of protein per lb that they weigh. Doctors caution against high protein diets as potentially being toxic to the blood stream (acidic). This is where all the factors come together. You must not give too much weight to burning or building without also considering pH Balance and Blood Sugar. I refer to this consideration of other factors as Timing.

Key points to Build:
To be sure the body is building in a proper fashion, make sure you’re getting enough protein and you’re eating a diverse enough range of proteins that you’re getting all the essential amino acids or building blocks for your body’s strength and repair.

TIMING

When it comes to timing I have a simple rule: feed according to need. In other words, don’t just eat simply because its time to eat. Eat because you are either supplying your body with greater energy for the task at hand or the necessary building blocks for strengthening and repairing. If you live a sedentary lifestyle where you sit most of the time and you have no desire to exercise, perhaps the most important thing you can do for your health is EAT LESS! But if you want to eat more, time to take up an exercise regimen or sport you enjoy.

Another thing to consider about what you eat is – why do you eat it? Your reasons for eating will help you understand why you are in the condition you are in today. Here’s an example of a few values that drive eating behavior:

You eat whatever tastes good.
You eat whatever is most convenient.
You eat whatever makes you feel the best.
You eat based on what will help you live the longest.

People that eat food because it tastes good or because its convenient generally have more health problems than people who eat food because it makes them feel the best or live the longest. Like most things in life, a longer time perspective helps you make better long term decisions.

WHAT DO YOU EAT JAMES?
Based on all this advise I often get asked, what do you eat? Over the course of my life I have personally experimented with diets all over the map sometimes for years at a time, from Vegan to Vegetarian to eating all meats. I have settled on a combination of lots of vegetables (especially green leafy vegetables), a moderation of fruits, eggs and fish and sometimes chicken. I get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of water and some form of physical exercise every day. I like to maintain a certain muscular athletic build and so I eat an additional meal of protein (often chicken) before or after a workout. I do eat dairy once in a while although generally in moderation and I avoid heavy cheese meals that make me feel tired afterward. A big part of staying fit is physical exercise. I like to surf, play soccer, walk the dogs, ride bikes, hike, work out at the gym and other physically demanding activities. Exercising is not a chore to me because I do things that I find fun or invigorating.

Of course no one diet or exercise plan fits all and the Triple B formula for Zest is only a guideline for determining the best diet approach for you to achieve the maximum balance, burn and build relative to whatever you are doing in your life and what your goals are (timing). Take some time after you finish this article to consider how you can use the Triple B formula to live a healthier, happier life.

James Rick (aka Mr. Full Potential) is author of Unleash Your Full Potential, host of the Full Potential Show and Founder of Full Potential Academy. For more information, please visit, JamesRick.com or www.FullPotential.com

There is Truth in Impermanence

Posted in Perspective |  Email This Post | by James Rick

Real truth most closely aligns with the Law of Impermanence – which states that all of matter is in a state of change. No one thing lasts forever – and few things last even a lifetime, except life itself.

To suffer loss of anything in an ever changing environment is the result of human attachment to that which no longer exists in the present. Human attachment forms out of ignorance or deliberate denial of the Law of Impermanence. Attachment to anything that is impermanent will inevitably result in loss. This does not mean you need to be numb to the human experience, but it does mean that you should expect loss and be prepared for it so you can adapt quickly. Appreciate the good times and be ready to lose anything in your environment today.

Loss is neither negative or positive. It is necessary for creating space in the Now that will be filled up with something else. If nothing were ever lost – then in the process of changing the Now would fill up with everything until there was nothing more that could take place in the Now. It would be one giant block of unchanging stuff. There is always a “loss” from moment to moment – things are always coming in and out of your awareness- but its only the loss of the things you have attached great meaning to that you suffer the most. And the meaning of that loss that creates additional suffering. It is the same way with gain, joy arises out of the meaning of the gain.

Awareness of impermanence does not guarantee you’ll be free from suffering – if you love anything Earthly – you will suffer it’s loss. You may choose to either not love anything or love and be ready to adapt quickly in case of loss. Careful not to assign meaning to adapting quickly – for example “If I get over this too fast, then that means I didn’t care that much.” This kind of meaning can prolong the mourning process (and suffering) unnecessarily. You don’t have to prove to yourself or anyone else that you cared very deeply for someone or something – your goal should be to return to a state of emotional resourcefulness as quickly as possible.

Humans are hard wired to mourn the loss of life or loved ones (in both death or relationship break up). Biological changes that are often painful to the observer, are a part of the adapting process. Emotions arise in response to meaning. The facts don’t lie and you cannot fool your brain – if you have lost something, you cannot wish yourself into positive thinking, or create meanings out of thin air. You will eventually suffer the loss of anything loved – be prepared for this. But don’t let it shake you too badly.. you’ll get through it with time. It takes time for the brain and it’s connection to the nervous system (heart area) to rewire itself – but this rewiring is a gift of evolution that makes it possible to live, love and laugh again even after great loss.

To be in the adaptive mindset, remember no matter what you’re experiencing: this too shall pass.

The Physical Plane is a Place of Preparation

Posted in General |  Email This Post | by James Rick

The physical plane is a place to stabilize our seeking efforts – it’s a foundation before we plunge into the depths of our psyche or the subtle energy dimensions. These ever changing dimensions require something solid to come back to for preparation and dissecting. But we must use it (our physical existence) correctly. Moment by moment is an opportunity to be aware, to stabilize the thoughts in our mind. To prepare for our journey into higher states of consciousness (such as dreaming, lucid dreaming, astral and beyond). It’s a place to prepare the mind for the journey ahead and come back and report what we’ve found. It’s an outpost in the universe built on a rock. Although it too is undergoing constant change and instability, relative to our experience it offers perhaps the most stable place to begin our investigation into the subtle nature of the universe.

Using Questions to Live Happier – Immediately

Posted in Perspective |  Email This Post | by James Rick

I found myself going down an emotional road that was well worn and crowded with lost Souls. I too had lost my way for a moment – but gripped in the fear / terror of emotions that I thought I had long disposed of, I remembered something from better times:

#1: QUESTIONS are the starting place for controlling thoughts in the conscious mind. Your power for redirecting focus. And focus determines how you feel. If you want to improve any emotion ask yourself better questions.

I remembered another thing about questions:

#2: Some of the best questions you’ll ever ask yourself take the focus off of “me” and “my happiness” and lead you to a mission greater than yourself. Such as: How can I add the most value right now to someone in need, wants help and I could help solve their problem?”

Here’s why redirecting focus through asking better questions works:

#3 Happiness is not something you seek but the absence of negative emotion. Happiness is a state of clarity, like a deep body of water clear all the way to the bottom.

The fastest way to clear the water of your psyche is to stop stirring it up.. calming the mind by either relaxing in meditation or if you have a hard time concentrating at first – ask yourself what you could do TODAY to honestly service someone or many with no real though of gain for yourself.

And if you are low on funds and must work to survive, work to survive – but still find ways to channel your time, energy, talents or money (whatever valuable resources you have in abundance) into causes that are greater than yourself. Greater than the PR (publicity) you might receive for your efforts (which benefits the Ego and puts focus back on “me”). Begin with those closest to you and expand your circle of service outwards. And only really invest your resources in those who WANT IT. Remember – you cannot change or fix someone that doesn’t feel there is anything wrong. Aside from making every effort to improve their environment (which will undoubtedly have an affect on them) there isn’t much you can do dealing with them directly.. so move on.

~~

And so armed with this knowledge of asking better questions and redirecting my focus to a purpose greater than myself – I immediately found myself on a path far more enjoyable than the one I was just on.

3 Tips for Marketing Success

Posted in General |  Email This Post | by James Rick

1) Identify a specific need – that you are passionate about solving
2) Deliver a product or service (Better, Faster, Cheaper) than anyone else by a noticeable amount.
3) Master at least one technique (or a combination of techniques) that are proven to work

3 Tips for Succeeding in Relationships

Posted in Power Lists and Formulas |  Email This Post | by James Rick

1) Open Communication
2) Honoring Commitments
3) Ask yourself “What would love do?” in every situation.

4 Tips for Succeeding in Life

Posted in Power Lists and Formulas |  Email This Post | by James Rick

1) Develop a Character – What is your vision for your self, what do you value?
2) Do What You’re Passionate About – Align your life around your passion.
3) Develop High Value Habits – Create a high performance routine that serves you in every major area (physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, emotionally, financially)
4) Maximize Your Life Resources – Use time, energy and money wisely (according to best practices) and in alignment with the laws and principles of the universe (example: cause and effect).

Never Underestimate a Summit

Posted in General |  Email This Post | by James Rick

Careful what you start. It’s easy to underestimate a journey before you start but not so easy to go back. Imagine if you were about to hike up a mountain, you underestimate the distance to the summit. After a grueling climb that takes you three times longer than you expected you run out of food and water. What would you do?

You …

A: Keep climbing and hope you find food and water along the way.
B: Jump and hope the fall doesn’t kill you (there’s a good chance it will)
C: Stay in one place and hope its all a bad dream.

The point is – there’s no easy way to stop once you’ve already started a journey.

I have / had what my partner refers to as “Entrepreneurial Attention Deficit Disorder” I began businesses I didn’t care that much about because I thought I’d make a quick buck or two and get out in a year. I learned that any kind of good results in a business you aren’t that passionate about is a bad thing because it lures you into doing something you don’t care that much about. In one business it took six years before I felt married to the business and divorce was not an option. For various reasons (from legal cases that needed resolution to people and projects that needed to be cut to return the company to profitability in ready for a sale to investors) I felt I had started climbing a mountain I didn’t care that much about because I thought it would be an easy summit. Six years later realizing the summit would take more time than I wanted to commit and simultaneously realizing there was no easy way to get down I found myself wondering how many people make the same mistake (doing something they aren’t passionate about because it seems like an easy way to make money in the beginning and then getting “stuck” in some way).

The Lesson: Never underestimate a summit – mountains usually look small on the horizon until you actually begin climbing them. You can only climb one mountain at a time. Pick a mountain you truly care about – ones that are worth your life if that’s what it would take. Not only will that give you the motivation you need to summit, but you’ll find greater fulfillment on your climb to the top.

Your Body..

Posted in General |  Email This Post | by James Rick

Your body is not yours anymore than the air is. But like a single breath – you control it for a moment and then its gone.