1. Explain how people can master effective communication?

A:#1: Paying Attention to the Non-Verbal First Impressions.

Body language and overall physical appearance speaks volumes before you ever say a word.. Effective communicators must first think about and plan the kind of messages they want to communicate non-verbally. This often means being relaxed, and confident in body posture and facial expressions, well groomed and well attired for the situation. Because people often have a hard time controlling their non-verbal communications (nervous twitches, tension, social anxiety, etc) I discuss in my book Unleash Your Full Potential – strategies for taking control of these things as well. Hint: Awareness plays the biggest role in non-verbal communication.

#2 Paying Attention to How You Communicate

When you actually start speaking, notice the WAY in which you say it. Studies indicate that in addition to body language, tone plays a major factor in how a message is interpreted. The words “I’m going to kill you” mean something very different when they are said in a playful tone versus an angry one.

Body gestures can emphasize and add weight to a message or distract from a message if they are not congruent. Congruency is critical for believability in what you are saying. If for example you stand up say “We are going to win this thing” but your body posture or gestures indicate a lack of belief in yourself, you will have a hard time convincing anyone else of your chances of victory. But if you sincerely believe in what you are saying and say it with solid congruency – alignment of body, tone and words – you create a very strong “frame” of believability that makes it easier to convince others. Some of the greatest orators, military generals and leaders have learned this one simple fact – if you come from a frame of strong belief and conviction in what you are saying and are congruent while you say it – you can move millions into action.. even if what you are saying is wrong!

#3 Saying What You Want to Say in the Simplest Way Possible

Effective communicators are clear and concise about what they are communicating. A complex idea broken down into its simplest, most easy to understand form ensures that the greatest number of people that hear it will understand it. Complex ideas do not require complex communication. Stories and metaphors are something everyone can relate to and are therefore one of the simplest ways to get an idea across. When Einstein communicates his theory of time, he uses the example of spending 3 minutes with a pretty girl can seem like 30 minutes, while 3 minutes with your hand on the stove can seem like 30 minutes. What may sometimes seem like “fluff” is actually useful in softening up hard facts so they can be digested by greatest number of minds.

2. What do you mean by how people communicate matters more than what
they actually say?

A: I believe this question is answered above. Non verbal communication says so much more than words, though we don’t want  to dismiss the importance of words. Emerson once said, “What you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear a word that you say.”

3. How can speakers use facial expressions, eye contact, posture and
tone to underscore the message?

A: The face is one of the most extraordinary communication tools for a human.

People look to the eyes and face to not only understand the words, but try to see beyond what is being said (the non-verbal stuff). Speakers can use this knowledge to “practice” using their eyes and face like you would an instrument. I suggest when you find yourself home alone to practice using your face and speaking in front of the mirror. Talk to yourself – literally as if you would another person and notice how you speak, gestures you use and facial expressions. Also video tape yourself speaking to others and notice all the non-verbal stuff you do. It’s hard to analyze yourself while you’re speaking but its easy to analyze yourself after you’ve already spoken. It’s important to note you are analyzing not to judge yourself negatively – but to improve the way you communicate. So look at this exercise with curiosity rather than self-judgment. Study yourself with curiosity (which is the perfect trigger for awareness) and have faith that through small conscious adjustments on a daily basis you’ll eventually find yourself one day communicating in ways where people can’t help but listen and be moved by what you have to say.

4. Explain how speakers can disable their defense mechanism.

A: A speakers defense mechanism (or an audiences) is triggered in response to a perceived vulnerability. People don’t say to themselves “I’m feeling vulnerable so now I’m going to bring out my shield.” The Ego just does it automatically as a way to protect itself and most people would describe it as feeling “uncomfortable”. A speaker is greatly hindered by their own defense mechanisms because it hurts their ability to be congruent and therefore credible. Defense mechanisms fire off and produce tension in the face, break eye contact,  stand or gesture in ways that are not effective for supporting what’s being said.

The best way to “disable” a defense mechanism is to become more self aware. And take your “self” out of the equation when you are speaking. For example I invest some time daily in contemplating and answering the question “who am I really?” and in the process I realized that my identity built upon the interpretations of my life experience and my reactions to the feedback of others. That’s a really deep way of saying – my identity is no more “real” than my opinion of a movie. And once you truly grasp that concept you stop taking yourself so serious or what others have to say about you so serious. When you no longer feel like your “life” is at risk when your identity feels like its being challenged – you can accept feedback and criticism without getting knocked off center. You can relax and stop worrying about how good you look or how well you are being received and just focus on what you are really trying to get across to others. And perhaps most importantly – when you are being or doing something that is greater than your self, you don’t care as much about being vulnerable as you communicate – because its not about you! It’s about the message.  For example – people that are really passionate about a subject are usually more free flowing in their message and get wrapped up in what they are saying to a point they lose themselves for a while in the “flow” and will reflect on it later and say I can’t believe I did or said that.. I can’t believe it was me! That’s when the self has returned to analyze itself.  In short, if the self analyzes itself WHILE it’s communicating – defense mechanisms will fire. To disable them – the self needs to forget itself (and not judge others negatively) while its communicating – which takes practice.

With positive energy,
James Rick
james@fullpotential.com
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THE THREE B’S of PHYSICAL ZEST

Would you like to have greater physical energy in your life? I’ve created a simple formula for you called the  “Three B’s” formula for Greater Physical Zest. This is a proven formula I use every day to have incredible levels of personal energy.

BALANCE

Balance represents the body’s constant attempt at equilibrium. The more you can aid that equilibrium in key areas, the healthier and more vital you will be. There are two very important areas to achieve equilibrium.

#1 pH Balance: Alkaline – Acidic
pH Balance represents the alkalinity or acidity in the blood stream. The SAD (Standard American Diet) of fast foods, processed foods, red meats, etc. produces an acidic blood stream. This is not healthy for blood cells and will affect energy and mood. The body needs foods like green leafy vegetables and plenty of water to become more balanced and alkaline. The body also needs plenty of sleep. This simple shift alone (to a more alkaline diet) could produce huge changes in overall health and energy. A simple practice of at least one or two salads a day and a glass of water every hour or two will make a huge difference in your life.

#2 Blood Sugar Balance: Insulin – Glucagon
The Blood Sugar balance is incredibly important for health and longevity. We all know what it’s like to devour a huge desert, have an energy spike or “sugar high” before crashing half an hour to an hour later. What we are feeling when this happens it the imbalance in blood sugar. At first simple sugars flood our blood stream and make us feel “high” but the sugar overload imbalances the system and to counteract the imbalance the body releases insulin. A little sugar is okay if you are exercising because your body will immediately burn up the simple fuel – like a fire consuming highly flammable kindling wood. But the combination of too much sugar in the system and not enough physical activity to burn it up in time causes the body to send out Mr. Insulin to go out and gather the kindling wood and bind it all together into thick “wood piles” known as fat. These “wood piles” will be stored as fuel for another day. But if you never let the body truly balance it’s blood sugar, or burn off the existing wood piles through physical activity – it will continue to stock pile them into a condition known as being overweight or Obese. So the key points here are – only eat deserts if you plan on doing some kind of physical activity afterward, or give your body plenty of time (days) to balance out its blood sugar levels before you indulge in another snack.

Key lessons for balance:
1) Eat multiple green leafy salads a day
2) Have a glass of water every 1 to 2 hours
3) Get plenty of sleep
4) Have a sweet day only once or twice a week.
5) Do physical exercise right after eating sweets or lots of carbs.

BURNING & BUILDING

The body needs food for one of two reasons – the production of energy or the building and repair of the body. That’s it.. that’s all it uses food for. Now you may eat it because it tastes good, but all your body cares about is how the food can be used for burning (energy) or building (healing / repairing / making the body stronger).

BURN

When it comes to the production of energy there are two primary forms of fuel Carbs and Fats.

A) Carbs fit into one of two categories – simple or complex. Simple carbs just mean they have a shorter chain of molecules and so they are burned in the fires of metabolism faster than complex carbs. Just imagine a short stick versus a long stick. The shorter the stick, the faster it gets burned up in the fire to produce energy. Sugar rich snacks and candy are examples of simple carb foods. Potatoes and whole breads are examples of more complex carb food.
B) Fats – which are more like the wood piles or even big tree logs that take even longer to break down and be used as fuel. Fat contrary to popular belief, is not the enemy. The body sees fat as a great long term fuel source that can be stored for a much longer time than carbs. That’s why if the body is flooded with carbs, rather than dispose of them – it holds onto them in the form of fat. The body has evolved for millions of years in times of feast and famine. It doesn’t want to dump a potential fuel source because based on the history of human evolution over millions of years – it never knows when you will be able to eat again. Fat storage is an ancient survival strategy of the body that has worked for its survival over many generations.

Now the all important question – how do you burn up fat?
The process is incredibly simple, you must:
1) Eat less (especially simple sugars / short sticks)
2) Exercise more (especially if you’ve just eaten simple sugars / short sticks)

BUILD

When it comes to the building, repairing and strengthening of the body the primary building block is protein. In fact you can determine the priority of carbs, fats and proteins by how the body uses them when in starvation mode. Most of the Carbs in the blood stream are used up within a day or two. Then the body shifts to breaking down and consuming the fat storage. The metabolism will slow down and consume fat for weeks, doing its best to preserve as much protein as possible. Although over the course of around 30 days some protein is broken down to feed the brain. After about 30 days when the body has run out of fat reserves it will begin consuming the protein and at this point it begins to cannibalize itself. Major organs go last and that’s when the body shuts down -the body literally eating itself to death.

If proteins are the last to go, it stands to reason that they are also the most important part of any diet. Proteins are found in variety of animal and dairy products like meat, eggs, fish, cheese etc. The body requires what are known as the nine essential amino acids (types of proteins) in order to function at optimum health. If it’s only getting some of the essential Amino acids, health problems may arise. You can get all of your essential amino acids from fish, chicken and eggs without the side effects of cholesterol found in red meat. Of course the environment that the meat or dairy you consume was raised is an important factor to consider. It’s also possible to get essential amino acids from an all vegetarian diet alone (through a variety of beans, nuts, etc) however it can be a more difficult thing to do, requiring careful diet planning.

How much protein is enough? Expert estimates vary – anywhere from .25 grams to 1 gram per lb that you weigh. So a 150 lb adult should consume anywhere from 32.5 grams on the low side to 150 grams on the high side. There is no definite number – you should observe your body and notice how you feel. When you are getting enough protein your muscles will be well fed and you should feel strong. Of course if you’re body building you know the importance of adding a good deal of protein to your diet before and after a work out. Some body builders consume 2 – 4 grams of protein per lb that they weigh. Doctors caution against high protein diets as potentially being toxic to the blood stream (acidic). This is where all the factors come together. You must not give too much weight to burning or building without also considering pH Balance and Blood Sugar. I refer to this consideration of other factors as Timing.

Key points to Build:
To be sure the body is building in a proper fashion, make sure you’re getting enough protein and you’re eating a diverse enough range of proteins that you’re getting all the essential amino acids or building blocks for your body’s strength and repair.

TIMING

When it comes to timing I have a simple rule: feed according to need. In other words, don’t just eat simply because its time to eat. Eat because you are either supplying your body with greater energy for the task at hand or the necessary building blocks for strengthening and repairing. If you live a sedentary lifestyle where you sit most of the time and you have no desire to exercise, perhaps the most important thing you can do for your health is EAT LESS! But if you want to eat more, time to take up an exercise regimen or sport you enjoy.

Another thing to consider about what you eat is – why do you eat it? Your reasons for eating will help you understand why you are in the condition you are in today. Here’s an example of a few values that drive eating behavior:

You eat whatever tastes good.
You eat whatever is most convenient.
You eat whatever makes you feel the best.
You eat based on what will help you live the longest.

People that eat food because it tastes good or because its convenient generally have more health problems than people who eat food because it makes them feel the best or live the longest. Like most things in life, a longer time perspective helps you make better long term decisions.

WHAT DO YOU EAT JAMES?
Based on all this advise I often get asked, what do you eat? Over the course of my life I have personally experimented with diets all over the map sometimes for years at a time, from Vegan to Vegetarian to eating all meats. I have settled on a combination of lots of vegetables (especially green leafy vegetables), a moderation of fruits, eggs and fish and sometimes chicken. I get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of water and some form of physical exercise every day. I like to maintain a certain muscular athletic build and so I eat an additional meal of protein (often chicken) before or after a workout. I do eat dairy once in a while although generally in moderation and I avoid heavy cheese meals that make me feel tired afterward. A big part of staying fit is physical exercise. I like to surf, play soccer, walk the dogs, ride bikes, hike, work out at the gym and other physically demanding activities. Exercising is not a chore to me because I do things that I find fun or invigorating.

Of course no one diet or exercise plan fits all and the Triple B formula for Zest is only a guideline for determining the best diet approach for you to achieve the maximum balance, burn and build relative to whatever you are doing in your life and what your goals are (timing). Take some time after you finish this article to consider how you can use the Triple B formula to live a healthier, happier life.

James Rick (aka Mr. Full Potential) is author of Unleash Your Full Potential, host of the Full Potential Show and Founder of Full Potential Academy. For more information, please visit, JamesRick.com or www.FullPotential.com

Circumstances challenge our thinking. Our thinking is an attempt to know circumstance better – in fact, thinking is an attempt to predict future circumstance. And the illusory nature of thinking is that most of what we know about real physical laws such as gravity or motion tend to occur as we predict them to occur. For example we expect an object to fall because of gravity and it does. We predict a fast moving car will be in a certain place a few seconds later and it is. This strategy of predictive thought then enter a complex realm when we try to predict the behaviors of others. We are not only limited by our own knowledge of previous circumstances in predicting, but we are going off of limited information (limited to the extent that we know a person and can reliably predict their behavior.)

What we know as trust is faith in certain behaviors based on limited information. Essentially what we are saying is that we have limited data to make a 100% prediction over what you’ll do, and so where there is a gap in your predictable behavior we have to trust that you’ll do the right thing. To trust someone we just met is a great leap of faith. To trust someone that we have known for a long time is easier to do because there is less of a gap to overcome. Reputation becomes so important because it provides a foundation for predicting behavior. The better the reputation from trusted sources, the easier it is to trust someone we just met. For example a book written by someone with a PH.D in front of their name or a degree from Harvard or mentions from the international media or an endorsement from other trusted authors is easier to trust as a source than someone who simply wrote a book -even if the latter has much more useful information than the former.

HOW OFTEN SHOULD WE LET OUR THINKING RUN ON A TRACK TO PREDICT BEHAVIOR?

Many times our emotions react to our fantasies – good or bad we become victims of the outcomes in our minds that never happened. This impact doesn’t just effect ourselves – it can affect everyone around us. If we are suspicious (future projection) or disgruntled (interpretation of earlier event), these emotions are quite easily detected (both consciously and subconsciously) in our body language, our tone and words.

HOW THEN SHALL WE USE THOUGHT?

We can direct it through the use of well guided questions. We can trust our own mind to supply us with the right answers when we use the right questions. After all – we’ve been with our mind the longest. The time the mind launches off on destructive inquiries is when we let it. That means – when we are not in control of the questions being asked, we very often receive answers we don’t need or feel emotions that are unwanted.

SHOULD I BE FOCUSED ON EMPOWERING QUESTIONS ALL DAY LONG? – THAT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF WORK

Yes – thought filtering requires a lot of effort – but it’s a job that only you can do. And the alternatives are less appealing. The good news is however that through consciously asking empowering questions on a regular basis you will form a habit of asking empowering questions, making it a little easier to focus your mind in the right areas. However don’t let up – the moment you let your mind wander on its own it can go right over a cliff. In other words – disempowering questions and destructive emotions are just a thought away.

A great way to know if you’ve gone off track is through listening to your body. Emotions are an important signal to how you’ve been thinking. You can trace every emotion you are feeling now or will feel in the future to your thinking. In the words of Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence – “Emotion follows thought just as surely as ducks follow their mother.”

Of course other factors play an important role in how you’re feeling – or rather, they make it easier to feel good. Factors such as getting plenty of rest, drinking plenty of water, eating salads, exercising, etc. See if you can come up with a list of “Feel Good Factors” that are simple ways to change your mood for the better. The reason? It’s simply easier to think empowering thoughts if you feel good. Having strategies for changing your state other than through remembering to ask empowering questions will offer a double assault on negative thinking and destructive emotions.

FULL POTENTIAL ACTION STEPS:
1) Come up with at least 1 or 2 questions you could ask yourself that would help you focus your brain on empowering thoughts. For example one question I ask myself, “How do I know I’m not dreaming right now?” This moves my attention to the present and helps me get out of thinking about my circumstances to instead, questioning my reality!
2) Come up with a list of at least 5 Feel Good Factors that you could easily do to change your state and make yourself feel better.

It’s not in achievement – which means honor and praise or self congratulations. A good life is measured in terms of how well aligned you are with aiding the universe in its evolution (value). Change is essential and you are essential part of that change. Where you position yourself greatly determines your “happiness” in the process. Happiness is universal feedback for doing what you are meant to do. The origin of that meaning is from the source of the universe – the same source from which you have come.

When you go to sleep at night – what urges you to sleep? Surely not yourself. No – its the body returning home. It yearns for it. Never is the pull towards the source as great as it is when you are tired. This is your evidence that such a force exists. You will feel this force once more when you have transitioned through the body to another plane – a restoration after a journey through the Earthly plane. Whether this description is from your fantasies or an actual description of events is no matter. The point is this: there is a force that draws you towards the source in both your sleeping and waking. In sleep it is the inevitable tiredness that draws you to the source. And in waking it is the fulfillment you feel in doing work that you were destined to do. Anything less than that is resistance and struggle. This is already know.

So the first characteristic of a good life is character – a personal constitution of:

• Values &
• Virtues

The definition of values are the things which you prioritize above all others as worthy of preservation of pursuit. The definition of virtue is principles of behavior (deeds) that bring about greater goodness and happiness in your life and the lives of others. Not for any other purpose but as an obligation for being – in being part of the whole you are obligated towards the whole. This is your service towards all life that in the grandest view is service to your self.

Examples of Values:

• Time
• Energy
• Knowledge
• Connection
• Wealth

Example of Virtues:

• Confidence / Boldness
• Self-control / Discipline
• Peace
• Loving
• Happiness
• Patience
• Positivity
• Zest
• Passion
• Playful

FULL POTENTIAL ACTION STEPS:
#1 Determine what your highest values are – these can easily be determined based on where you’re willing to invest the majority of your time, energy and other life resources without feeling guilty.
#2 Set goals based on your highest values. For example when I discovered that Time is one of my highest values I immediately began making sure I invested it in the best manner possible. For me this meant to be as present as possible, to avoid arguments or conflict and create as many enjoyable moments as possible. The point: through identifying your highest values you can then set up goals around them. Contrary to popular belief, goals don’t have to be for “things” but rather – for experiences in alignment with your values.
#3 Determine what virtues you want to cultivate as part of your character. These can easily be determined based on the behaviors you feel will bring the greatest goodness to you and to others.
#4: Determine at least one behavior for each virtue.
Align your daily behaviors with your virtues. For example when I discovered that self-control is high on my list of virtues I began to notice the times I lost control and took steps to strengthen my self control so I lived true to this virtue. There’s two points here – (1) You must have a track. (2) Noticing when you’ve gone off track so you can make corrections. (Don’t get frustrated with yourself during this process, the act of “aligning” means you’re off track most of the time.)

Whatever challenges you might be going through – remember that without friction there is no polishing. In other words, the refinement of your soul is in direct proportion to the friction in your life. The more you’re going through – the more potential you have to grow.

It’s not what you’re going through that matters so much as how you’re handling it.  First accept – then do something about it. Acceptance comes in the form of the statement: “It Is What It Is” and now instead of taking a passive stance, you can remind yourself to actively summon your best effort through the statement  - “And All I Can Do Is the Best I Can Do.”

Any time you face adversity that seems too hard to handle, automatically remember to say this to yourself: – “It Is What It Is – And All I Can Do is the Best I Can Do.”

To regain control you must move yourself back to the center of the wheel, where it is calm – but how? You must first free yourself centrifugal force – and to do this you must slow down the wheel of the mind. Slowing down the wheel of the mind requires two things:
1) Stop spinning the wheel
2) Hit the Brakes

WHEELS, MONKEYS AND ELEPHANTS
You stop spinning the wheel when don’t let your mind run with whatever thoughts it wants. In Buddhism they refer to the random wandering of the thought as the monkey mind. You have to stop your monkey from spinning the wheel. You do this through conscious intention.

To illustrate intention, there is a story of elephants in training. As babies the elephant trainers put a stake in the ground and chain the baby elephants to it. The baby tries to get away but after many futile attempts it stops trying. The same little stake and chain are used even when the elephant grows up as a full sized adult with the power to rip the stake out of the ground. Now as a powerful adult the elephant doesn’t try to escape. Why? -Because the elephant has been conditioned to accept the stake and chain as limits on its freedom.

The stake in this story represents your intention. Once you put a stake in the ground you stop your elephant from wandering. Now unless you are learning this as a child, your elephant has developed habits of wandering freely that will require more effort to condition.

Do you see the similarities between the elephant metaphor, the monkey mind and the wheel? The elephant and monkey wander, the wheel spins. To control the elephant or monkey you must put a stake into the ground. To slow the wheel down you must create an intention.

THE HARDEST PART IS IN THE BEGINNING
Do not get discouraged the first time you try to put a stake down or slow the wheel down. The run-away elephant will inevitably rip the first few stakes you put down. But each time you put another one down you slow it down just a little bit more. The wheel will inevitably keep spinning the first few times you attempt to hit the brakes, but each time you hit the brakes you slow it down just a little bit more. In the beginning when you create a conscious intention the wheel of your mind will keep spinning – causing you to lose focus and forget your intention. But each time you remember your intention and make an effort again you will be successfully slowing the mind down. It may not be noticeable at first but over repeated attempts you will begin to sense you are regaining control of the mind, the elephant is being conditioned by the stake. Awareness is regaining its position at the calm center of the wheel.

CREATING INTENTION
How do you create intention? Creating intention is quite easy; it’s remembering to do it that’s the hard part. You can say in your mind that you are going to lift your hand and touch a wall – that is creating an intention. You carry out that intention when you do it. The act might seem simple but it’s the process behind the act. You didn’t just touch the wall or act on impulse – you touched the wall with conscious intention. Intention always happens in the now. That is why being present is so important. The breath is one of the best way to maintain presence and keep planting a stake in the ground. The breath is always present. But there’s a big difference between breathing automatically and breathing consciously. Take a deep breath right now – you just created and acted out an intention. You just planted a stake in the ground, the wheel of your mind just slowed down a little bit. You hardly noticed it and you will soon forget, or not – depending on how much you desire to take control of your mind. If you do it again with another breath, and another and another you will soon reach a state of centeredness.

REMAINING VIGILANT LIKE A NIGHT WATCHMAN
The moment you release your intention the elephant will start wandering, the wheel will start spinning. Slowly at first and controllable – but don’t be fooled. Within usually a day the speed and strength will have reached uncontrollable levels again. To make things easier on your Soul you must maintain the stake, you must apply the brakes and keep the wheel at controllable levels at all times. This is very important to remember!

THIS IS SO HARD..
Once you begin to maintain intention for longer periods I can hear you saying right now that this is difficult. Yes it is a real challenge. Buddha says that you must seek enlightenment like you seek air when drowning.
Spiritual desire cannot be taught. Whether it is through enough lifetimes (if you believe in reincarnation) or simply enough frustration in this lifetime, at some point you reach the desire threshold for committing the necessary effort to slow things down and take control. The question is not whether you can. It’s how much effort are you willing to invest?

GET STRONG IN 30 MINUTE ‘WORK OUT’ SESSIONS
One final thing to remember is that while it may not be possible to be consciously intending ALL of the time, just like it’s not possible to work out in a gym ALL of the time – its not completely necessary. To be strong you can work out hard in a gym for 30 minutes a day and maintain that strength throughout the day. You can do the same thing with setting intention: concentrate on your intention hard for 30 minutes a day and you’ll benefit from that mental strength all through the day. But much like what happens if you don’t go to the gym, you can easily lose your strength in focus if you let more than a day or two pass.

SUMMARY:
1) To re-center your awareness you must slow the wheel of the mind down.
2) You can slow the wheel down through creating conscious intentions.
3) Aware breathing is a great way to hit the brakes and regain centeredness.
4) By concentrating on intention for 30 minutes or so you can gain strength and clarity throughout the day.
5) Do not let more than a day or two pass or you lose centeredness and make regaining it more difficult than it needs to be.

If you’re ready for a heavy dose of appreciation about your own life and a demonstration of the power of thought in spite of physical limitation, watch Nick now:

The core content of this video:
1) Perspective
2) Vision
3) Choices

Get inspired!

Of course half the fun of playing a sport is the experience of it – but in any competitive sport you are playing to win. And winning consists of making every motion count towards a goal. You have to be conscious of what you’re doing and it has to be in alignment with making that goal.

CLEAR GOALS
Think how this analogy applies to your daily life. Do you have a clear goal? If you don’t you’re just kicking a ball across an endless field. On the one hand you might be enjoying the journey but isn’t a journey more meaningful if it has a destination?

DEGREE OF CONTROL
And secondly – if you do have a goal is it something you can control? At least in sports you have a great deal of personal control in scoring a goal, because you control the motions of your body you control the likelihood of scoring a goal. In life sometimes there are systems that overlap your pathway to your goal that you do not control. For example in sports, other team players who might want the goal more than you do.

Now take a goal like money – there is your personal effort towards achieving a specific money goal and then there’s the capitalistic system itself which is designed to be a ‘debt based’ system. This means the system itself is designed to put the majority of people who belong to it, in debt – it doesn’t matter how hard they work or how much they want to score big money goals there is a high statistical percentage that most people will be in debt. So there is your personal control about how hard and smart you will work and then there is the overlapping element that you do not control which is the market and the way the system is designed. (On a side note: Avoiding consumer debt – house, car, etc. is something most often you can control and gets you closer to your goal of financial freedom.)

PRIMARY GOALS VS. SECONDARY GOALS
Primary goals begin with everything you can control – your body, your mind, etc. And secondary goals are outcomes that will happen if everything goes as planned. This doesn’t mean you don’t work hard for them – it just means you realize that not everything is in your control to make them a reality.

In sports a primary goal is to be in great shape, eat healthy before the game, stay well hydrated so that you can perform you very best. A secondary goal is to put the ball where it needs to go. This is a secondary goal because you cannot control what the other players do, the wind, etc. You can only give yourself the best opportunity to succeed by identifying and carrying out the primary goals necessary to make your secondary goal a reality.

LEVERAGE
In earning money an important primary goal is leverage. Leverage comes in many forms:
1. Time Leverage – Managing time and helping others on your team manage their time well. As a primary goal, you control where your time goes. Time leverage requires clear priorities, and clear priorities are impossible without clear goals.
2. Energy Leverage – Managing your energy and other people’s energy well. As a primary goal, you control what you eat, how much you sleep, how much water you drink, etc.
3. Knowledge Leverage – Managing how much you know and training others. As a primary goal you control what you learn based on where you spend your time, what you read, etc.
4. Connection Leverage – Managing who you know and contributing value to others. As a primary goal you control who you associate with and how much time you spend with them. You also control the quality of the interaction based on how much you’re willing to give. Not in a monetary sense but in a loving, compassionate or shrewd sense.
5. Capital Leverage – Managing how much you spend and where you invest what you’ve earned. As a primary goal avoiding consumer debt like the plague ensures that free capital doesn’t go into paying dead interest. Accumulating debt that offers no promise of return is the fastest way to get locked into a TIME obligation – which is what the current system is built on – debt obligations are a modern form of slavery.
6. Employee / Partnership Leverage – Managing who works for you, with you and what work they do. As a primary goal you control what kind of person you are (character) which dictates whether people want to follow you or listen to you. In most cases you also dictate what field of work you choose to get involved in, which consequently also says a lot about your character. ‘Goodwill’ earned through good deeds is an invisible currency worth many times its weight in gold; a supreme form of leverage.

IN SUMMARY
Making every motion count requires:
1) A clear and definite goal
2) A conscious effort to make every effort a movement towards the goal
3) An awareness of primary goals (actions you 100% control) and secondary goals (outcomes that you do not fully control due to overlapping systems)
4) Identifying and employing ways in which you can leverage / multiply your efforts.

Nobody ever taught you as a child to be curious – you were simply OPEN to what reality could be and because you didn’t really know – anything was possible. A young reality is a magical place.

From the time you were a child your greatest quest has been about discovering what is true. As time goes on you discovered what you considered to be ‘hard truths’ about reality – people dying, people lying and people hurting… you formed beliefs about these truths and that became your new reality. The more beliefs you established about your reality the more this became your internal reality.

After early adulthood – most early formed beliefs become like hardened concrete and change relatively little over the course of life. There are two exceptions: If the life experience shatters hardened beliefs to rubble or if a person continues to seek truth and keeps their belief structures ‘wet’ so to speak, they are always open to change.

Another word for beliefs is rules. You setup rules to help you navigate reality more effectively. For example the first time you see something drop to the floor (instead of float) you setup a rule that says IF I let go of an object, THEN it will fall. (Rules are generally framed if IF–THEN / cause-effect scenarios. IF = Cause, THEN = Effect) You setup rules for your internal reality that correspond with what you observe in your outer reality. This system is quite efficient when it comes to unchanging events such as gravity or sunsets, but what about the variables in reality?

For example if a dog bites you as a child then your brain might associate danger with ALL dogs, until you encounter enough friendly dogs to change that belief. If a man hurts you, then it will associate danger with ALL men or at least until you meet enough friendly men that help you change that belief. If someone from a religious group or foreign country commits a radical act and you don’t know much about that religion or country, your brain will associate radical acts with EVERYONE in that religion or country.

Ultimately the brain’s biggest limitation is that it cannot be in all life, in all places at all times – which is the true definition of reality. And so what does it do? It fills in a lot of blanks with beliefs about reality. The beliefs create the illusion of knowing reality without actually having had the experience of knowing reality.

HUMANS ARE COMPLEX BECAUSE OF THEIR RULES

As you can imagine creating rules for every interaction with the exterior reality (including other people) makes us very complex! If you think about it rules are the very basis of human relationships. Most of our time in communicating is spent understanding other people’s rules and expressing our own.

IF we care about them THEN we will attempt to understand and honor their rules. IF they care about us THEN they will attempt to understand and honor our rules. IF someone doesn’t honor our rules THEN we are upset.

We have rules for love:
IF he loves me, THEN he’ll tell me often
IF he loves me, THEN he’ll buy me nice things
IF she loves me, THEN she’ll call more often

We have rules for hate:
IF someone insults my family, THEN I will take revenge
IF someone kills my dog, THEN I will kill him.
IF someone is from a certain country or religious group, THEN I will hate him.

We have rules for jealousy:
IF my lover looks at another in a certain way, THEN I will feel jealous.
IF my lover gives something more attention than me, THEN I will feel jealous.
IF my lover compliments another on their beauty, THEN I will feel jealous.

We have rules for giving:
IF they aren’t missing arms and legs, THEN I won’t give them money.
IF someone has a good plan, THEN I will volunteer my time.
IF someone proves they are persistent enough, THEN I will give them my heart.

We have rules for happiness:
IF I have a million dollars in the bank, THEN I am happy.
IF I am healthy, THEN I feel good.
IF I am in control, THEN I am happy.

The list can go on. The point here is that you have established rules for nearly every cause imaginable. And they are not always the best rules. In fact some rules are self defeating. For example if you have to wait until you have million dollars in the bank before you can be happy – you have created a rule that may never be filled, or it might take having a million dollars in the bank before you realize that your rule wasn’t true. So then you will have to create a new rule for happiness – and that might be, IF I have TEN million dollars in the bank, THEN I am happy. (It’s easy to imagine rules that you cannot prove.)

Because the process of rule creation is often unconscious – it’s easy to build your own prison and live in it the rest of your life without ever having realized what happened to the magical reality you lived in as a child. Many times you adopt the rules of your parents, or your close associates, of society. You adopt the image of what success is, what beautiful is and what love is and you setup rules that say unless you are living the ideal image of success, beauty and happiness then you can never be fulfilled. The rules in your head can put happiness out of reach!

The most amazing thing is about rules is this: they are of your own creation! Yes, you may have created them unconsciously, but if you become conscious of them you also have the power to REWRITE them! Why not? Just because you may have been living with some stupid rules for a long time doesn’t mean they are permanent unless you say they are – because that would be another one of your rules! (IF I have lived a certain way long enough, THEN that must be the way things will always be.) As you begin to become more aware of the rules you’ve setup in your head you’ll discover just how complex your rule structure goes. You’ll find that you even have RULES BEHIND RULES. Like the last example – IF my rules have existed long enough, THEN they will always exist; this is a rule behind a rule.

WRITING RULES DOWN DEFINES THEM

Now until you actually put your rules into simple sentence structures like IF / THEN, they are actually not so quite easily defined, in other words most rules are at the level of emotional energies that you CANNOT consciously define. And many rules are in conflict. This is why sometimes you behave in ways that you do not understand. But when you become aware of how you’re behaving and then you finally translate that emotional energy into a sentence such as: “IF I am not getting attention, THEN I do not feel loved.” You can look at it with clarity and realize the absurdity of the rule. Now if the rule were that clear in your head to begin with you would have obviously realized it – but it wasn’t until you did the exercise of becoming aware of your rules and writing them down that you actually become aware of how absurd many of them are. As emotional energies rules will seem very real and very important. This is how in extreme cases people can kill or die for their rules! But when you finally put them down on paper in a form that your conscious mind can understand a simply written IF / THEN statement.. you then have an ‘AH-HA” moment of realization that will help you take conscious control of the rule – keep it if makes sense or discard it if it’s silly.

Now here’s the exciting part – if you want to create new rules you easily upload them into your brain. First you create IF / THEN statements you feel are much more empowering and your brain will quickly adopt them. If for example you want to be happier, create EASIER RULES for happiness. IF I am alive and breathing, I am happy. If I am smiling, I am happy.

HOW DO YOU DISCARD, KEEP OR CREATE RULES?

The very act of becoming aware of your rules is enough. You may not think you’re ‘doing anything’ just because you can’t manipulate them with your hands – but a mountain of evidence suggests that awareness alone can actually rewire the brain. Think about it – even though you read these words no physical interaction takes place between your eyes and these words. It is the conscious reflection upon these words that drives the change in your brain.

CREATE RULES THAT ARE INTERNALLY DRIVEN

The most important part about creating rules is that they MUST be internally driven. You cannot control a million dollars in your bank account – but you CAN control the work you do to create a million dollars. If the end goal is happiness, the million dollars is the outcome of something more important. IF I am serving the marketplace with a valuable product, THEN I am happy. You control what you bring to a marketplace – you don’t control how the marketplace responds.

Rules that are internally driven are easier to control. Examples of internally driven rules:

Internally Driven Rules for Love
IF I am giving unconditionally, THEN I feel love.
IF I grateful for the relationships in my life, THEN I feel love

Internally Driven Rules for Happiness
IF I do my work with integrity, THEN I am happy about who I am.
IF I do work that I choose for myself, THEN I am happy about my freedom.
IF I can bring value to a marketplace, THEN I am happy about my contribution.

Internally Driven Rules for Peace
IF I remember my breath, THEN I feel at peace
IF I remember how short life is, THEN I can let go of petty things

WHAT IS TRUTH?

Truth is what the best rules are for a given scenario. That’s what you really seek, that’s what everyone really seeks – the ‘most true’ rules for navigating reality. Contrary to what you might believe, people love rules; not rules that imprison or limit, but rules that set free. Yes, rules that create rather than inhibit freedom – these are the most sought after. What is freedom? It is unbound awareness. You, the soul as awareness want to escape the boundaries of your container and you must take control of your brain power to create the rules that enable you to escape! Set yourself free.

An attachment to change outside of your control is anxiousness. Letting go and observing what unfolds is freedom. Appreciate the detail of whatever is happening but don’t be tempted to hold onto it just because you prefer it over other experiences. You never know what experiences may lay ahead and you cannot fully appreciate them if you are grasping for something that is not there (past or future).

When you let go it creates a vacuum. Rather than needing to fill it right away, observe it with curiosity. Trust that your heart will attract to you the things that you need to experience. This does not mean you don’t plan your life – it simply means to be aware of what you’re experiencing as you transition into what you have planned.