Sailing into the Storm: Healing Emotions

I’ve been working through some deep emotions at this time I haven’t been completely in touch with. It’s amazing how things open up when you just make the decision to go there. I want to share this with you as I see this kind of emotional healing as the key to a better world.

There is so much more joy in loving deeply and being real, more than all the money or surface level pleasures in the world. It’s the emotional connection with life that brings out the richness of the experience. And it’s the honest relationships (very few) we have in life that help us reach deepest levels of emotional connection. It can be scary to openly love on a deep level, because this is where the most pain can be felt. Trusting another person to love you through this process is the most delicate of contracts.

There is one thing that truly unites us all in being human: we have emotionally suffered in one way or another. Losing someone close to us or putting all our trust in the wrong hands. There’s a complicated story for every person on Earth but the result is the same: the emotional weight and fullness of its uncontrollable pain.

What you do with that pain is really key.
Avoidance response: turn away, hide from it, deny it exists and live in your head.
Restless response: You can distract yourself and restlessly try to move on from one thing to the next.
Confrontational response: respond with anger and seek revenge.
These are all just strategies of coping with emotional pain.
But emotions are like mines.. They don’t just go away until you’ve dug them out and cleared them away, or triggered them by accident and are forced to deal with them then.

Humans are a simple species to understand: It’s our responses to emotional pain that almost entirely explain the infinite varieties of our behavior, for better or worse.

To make the most of this life and ensure you do not opt for the seemingly easier route of skimming across the surface after your first few major emotional challenges , you’ve got to BE WILLING to dive back down DEEP into the pain. Allow it to flow through you, embrace the hurt, the tears and all of it, fully without self judgment or regret. And without trying to change anything. Just ACCEPTING it, as painful as the reality might be. Not necessarily dwelling on any negative aspect of it either. But simply observing as your emotions burn at great intensity, observing that such a powerful force exists and questioning what positive can be learned from it. Like a curious child witnessing the great forces of nature for the first time.

Eventually, after facing the storm completely head on and allowing it to pass rather than running from it, you will experience a clearing. And in that clearing you will find gifts in the form of insights waiting for you. Furthermore, you won’t be as afraid about the next storm, now that know how to handle it.

The fear of the storm never really goes away. But the willingness to love at the deepest level of your being comes from the CONFIDENCE that you are stronger than the storm. And that you will not hide from it should it arrive again, you will go out to meet it. And you will find the gifts it leaves behind.

To truly experience life we must learn to navigate with our head and our hearts, and learn to master the inevitable winds and waves of our journey with the fortitude of captain that has sailed through many storms.

1- Cherish the relationships you have where you can love deeply, openly and honestly.
2- If you’ve been hurt in the past and have opted to cope with it in any other way besides confronting it, now is always the best time for clearing emotions.
3- Be confident that you will get better at handling the inevitable storms and don’t be afraid to love deep and fast when it’s deserved.

Redefining What Productivity Means, And Where It Starts..

Productivity is often defined as what you do physically. But productivity actually begins in your mind. Calming it, getting your head clear, planning your path. This is where true productivity really starts. Its easy to overlook it because you can do all of these things while laying down with your eyes closed.

Some of my most productive “work” sessions are spent laying down eyes closed, getting everything organized.

The first key to having productive sessions like these is learning how to fully relax the body. The second key is learning how to fully relax the mind. Only when the body and mind is relaxed is the stage set for more productive thinking and meditation. If you don’t first learn how to relax the body and mind, your body will fidget and your mind will stray all over the place – kind of like idle web surfing.

1 – Lay quietly and focus on breath, go over each muscle in the body and imagine bright, loving energy moving into it and tell it, that its OK to relax. Amazingly, the body doesn’t truly relax until you tell it that its OK.
2 – Now as your body is laying perfectly still, really focus on each in-breath and out-breath and say to yourself, I’M RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. The goal is to really try to bring yourself into the present. Its amazing how lost you’re going to be in all the thought patterns that have been running on auto-pilot. You’ll have to remind yourself several times what you’re doing and get back to focusing on your breath.
3 – Eventually the body AND mind will settle down as you find yourself able to remain focused in the present for several breaths. At some stage you’ll even feel like your body has fallen asleep .. indeed it very well may have! But you’re still conscious.
4 – When you’ve reached the point where the body feels like it has fallen asleep and your riding a wave of presence, this is the place where you can go in any number of directions with your intention, you can go deeper into contemplating spiritual insights that might pop up or you can think deeply about your next steps in life.

The key to this whole process is learning to LET GO. The mind wants to hang onto all kinds of stuff .. and simply refuses to let go. It FEARS letting go, like you’re going to miss something important. It might throw up things you need to do or tasks you’ve forgotten about.

These are the thought patterns that make you feel like.. well YOU. They are things it carries around to feel a sense of identity. Whether its thought patterns around money, relationships, worries etc. You’ve got to learn to continue to remind yourself to let go and fall more deeply into a state of relaxation, while still remaining conscious. You can put your mind at ease by calmly writing down each thing that pops up and then returning to your immersion into relaxation.

If you want to travel somewhere.. if you want a vacation .. if you want to be at peace.. the greatest place to start exploring is inside yourself! Don’t get suckered into giving this precious gift away to your TV or some other distraction. Make time for it, its not just a luxury, its a necessity.

Process for Empowered Thinking

Focus on solutions, not problems. It often takes more brain power and energy to dwell on problems and the results are terrible.

Retrain your brain to overcome negative emotion with this simple process.

TRIGGER: The moment you feel a negative emotion
- Ask Brain: What is the PROBLEM?
- Ask Brain: What do I CONTROL?
- Ask Brain: Am I doing my BEST?

A: Identifying PROBLEMS makes it easier to come up with solutions. The brain loves a well defined challenge!
B: Identifying what you CONTROL, will move your brain from coming up with excuses for why a problem exists, to feeling 100% responsible for results now.
C: Clarifying your personal BEST will elevate your vision and from where you are today, to where you could be. You’ll immediately feel better and be fired up for action. Plus if you can honestly answer you’re doing your best, your brain will learn to chill out.

One of the key ingredients of happiness is feeling a sense of of control over ones own life. Identifying what you have 100% control over will make you feel more empowered!

When you confirm you’re giving your best to solve a problem, even if the results don’t show up right away you will feel greater confidence and energy AND your brain will stop badgering you with negative emotions. That’s why the pain is there in the first place – to move you to take action to improve the situation. Don’t dwell in pain, get your ass moving.

Bottom line
1: Use negative emotions as a TRIGGER for identifying problems and focusing on solutions
2: Identify what you control and measure your efforts against your PERSONAL BEST
3: Stop making excuses, own your results and ACT on your best options.
The brain is full of false assumptions, the real world is the best place for testing out your prioritized ideas. You may not always get it right, but you will get better with time.

Having a process for constructive and empowered thinking will eventually rewire your brain so that negative emotions become fuel for greater results! This kind of thinking will become your new default!